YARDIE & TRINI
A Yardie is having breakfast one
morning; coffee, croissants,
bread, butter& jam when a Trini man,
chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The Yardie ignores the Trini who,
nevertheless,starts a conversation

Trini: "You Jamaican folk eat the whole
bread?"
Yardie in a bad mood):
"Of course"
Trini (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Trinidad we does
only eat
what's inside. The crust, we collect in a container, recycle it,
transform
them into croissants and sell them to the Jamaicans". The Trini has a smirk
on his face.
The Yardie listens in silence
The Trini persits: "Do you eat jam with the bread?"
Yardie: "Of course"
Trini: (Cracking he gum wid he teet and chucklin')"We don't. In
Trinidad we
eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we does put all the peels, seds
and
leftovers in containers, recycle them into jam and sell the jam to
the
Jamaicans"
The Yardie then asks: "Do you have sex in Trinidad?"
Trini: "Why of course we do", the Trini says smirking
Yardie: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Trini: "We throw them away, of course"
Yardie: "We don't. In Jamaica we put them in a container, recycle
them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell deh raas dem ah
Trinidad

The Car Crash

Tragically, three Jamaican friends die in a car crash a doctor,a teacher and a
hotelier, and they find themselves at the gates of heaven.
Before being allowed to enter, they are each asked a
question by St. Peter. "When you are in your casket, and friends
and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say
about you?" asked St. Peter.
The doctor answered, "I would like to hear them say that I was a
great doctor and I took care of all my children"
The teacher said, "I would like to hear that I was a
wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge
difference in children's lives.
The hotelier replied, "I would like to hear them say,
"RAHTID! HIM A MOVE!!!!'"

Jamaican newlyweds


Typical Jamaican man married typical good-looking Jamaican lady and
after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Mi cum home when mi want, if mi want
and ah dohn expec noh assle from yu. Mi expect a good dinner pon de table
unless mi tell yu oderwise. Mi gwine shoot bird, fish, drink me whites, play
dominos anytime me want wid me fren dem an mi noh wahn yu gi mi a hard time.
Those are my rules. Seen?"

His new bride said, "Yah man, dat all right wid me. But yu no see it -
me gwine have sex here at seven o'clock every night-wheder you dey ya or not."

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