I bet your mother taught you a few things and more........
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait till we get home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You going get a ass'n when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE.
"What di backside yu thinkin'? Answer me when me
talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"
4. My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.
"If yu run cross de road an' cyar lick yu dung, a goin' kill yu wid
lick."
5. My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION.
"If yu no go a school, yu a go tun tief or walk an' pick up bottle."
6. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If yu tun over yu eye lid an fly pitch pan it, it a go stay so fi evva."
7. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD.
"Is not one time monkey goin' wan' wife"
8. My Mother taught me ESP.
"Yu tink a don't know what yu up to nuh?"
9. My Mother taught me HUMOR.
"If yu don' eat food, breeze goin' blow yu 'way."
10. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT.
"Come an' tek yu beatin' like man."
11. My Mother taught me about SEX.
"Yu tink say yu drop from sky?"
12. My Mother taught me about GENETICS.
"Yu jus' like yu faada."
13. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Yu tink mi come from "Back A Wall?"
14. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE.
"When yu get to be as ol' as me, yu wi understan'."
15. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE.
"One day wen yu have pickney, a hope dem treat yu same way."
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Sunday, August 31, 2003
Jamaican Love Poem
You're the ackee in my saltfish
Condensed milk in my tea
The patty in my coco bread
Without you there is no me.
Just like coconut water
You're good for my heart
And Mr.Wray without his nephew
Is like when we are apart.
When you wrap your arms around me
Like banana leaf on blue draaws
There is nothing I wouldnt do for you
You know that im all yours.
I want to be with you always
Like when tin milk get short
An dem marry it with it to de mackerel
to make sure de mackerel get bought.
Like carrot juice on Sunday
Mango in the summertime
I cant get enough of you
Please tell me you will be mine.
Author: Rasta Shakesephere
You're the ackee in my saltfish
Condensed milk in my tea
The patty in my coco bread
Without you there is no me.
Just like coconut water
You're good for my heart
And Mr.Wray without his nephew
Is like when we are apart.
When you wrap your arms around me
Like banana leaf on blue draaws
There is nothing I wouldnt do for you
You know that im all yours.
I want to be with you always
Like when tin milk get short
An dem marry it with it to de mackerel
to make sure de mackerel get bought.
Like carrot juice on Sunday
Mango in the summertime
I cant get enough of you
Please tell me you will be mine.
Author: Rasta Shakesephere
CHINESE SICK LEAVE
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and both my leg hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and both my leg hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
An elderly Jamaican man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Jamaican pastry, 'Gizzada' wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally dozens of 'Gizzadas'.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the 'Gizzada' was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a 'Gizzada' at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a 'dutch-pot' by his wife...... "Move yu back-side!" she said, "Dem ya a fe you funeral."
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally dozens of 'Gizzadas'.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the 'Gizzada' was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a 'Gizzada' at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a 'dutch-pot' by his wife...... "Move yu back-side!" she said, "Dem ya a fe you funeral."