Butch don't have to worry bout insurance when yardy de bout.
IF AIR JAMAICA WAS HIJACKED BY TERRORISTS
Hijacker: Everybody this is a hijack..no body moves or Ill blow up this
plane to pieces
Jamaican: Hey Batty Bway, siddung an mine a buss yuh rahtid head! A wi
yaad wi a go
an yuh a come blurtnaught talk bout hijack!
Hijacker: I am serious ..dont try anything funny Jamaican boy
Jamaican:Mi blood fyah, unu hear di likle maama man a call big man bway ..
Crowd: Bax dung di bway bredren ..Im dam outta arda an feisty! Lick im fi
six my yout!
'Im renk an outah horda!
A fight ensues.. The flight attendants cheer on. The captain hears the
rumble.. he exits
from the cockpit.
Captain: Hay Hey is what going on in here. Why unu beating up di farrin
yout?
Jamaican: Big man, di bway noh come talk bout Hijack when im si seh people
a try reach
Kingston before midnight....so wi haffi discipline it prappa.
Captain: Hijack?!!!
Jamaican: Yes big man, ..im claim seh im a come blow up di plane an rae
rae an a call big
man bway afta mi tell im fi siddung..Mi all hav a Stone love dance fi
ketch 7:30 tinite an
di bway a try hole up progress! A wah dweet?
Captain: **KUFF!!!!** Yow yu lickle pimple face coolie bway yuh tink yuh
can come on ya
an tek ova MY plane. **KUFF** Siddung an quite yuself before a sail yuh
troo di exit door.
Flight Attendants .. if im get up outta dah seat deh fi di res a di flight
mash up wan di
rum bakkle ina im blastid head! Is why some a unu caan behave unuself dowe
eeh ..cho!
Crowd: **Applause**.. (Jeering) Serve yuh right! Yuh too tan bad ..waan
come hijack wi
plane afta wi serve yuh nice hat mout watering food. Dam brite! Wait til
wi lan a Kingston,
de massive wi deal wid yu. Yu gwine sorry yu board dis yah plane. We no
rhamp yu kno !!
Hijacker: Are we there yet
Thursday, October 18, 2001
Monday, October 08, 2001
THINGS MY JAMAICAN MOTHER TAUGHT ME
> >> >1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.> >"Just wait till we get home."> >>
>2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.> >"You going get a ass'n when we get home!"> >
> >3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE.> >"What di backside yu thinkin'? Answer me when me> >talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"> >>
>4. My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.> >"If yu run cross de road an' cyar lick yu dung,> >a goin' kill yu wid lick."> >
> >5. My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION.> >"If yu no go a school, yu a go tun tief> >or walk an' pick up bottle."> >
> >6. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.> >"If yu tun over yu eye lid an fly pitch pan it,> >it a go stay so fi evva."> >>
>7. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD.> >"Is not one time monkey goin' wan' wife"> >>
>8. My Mother taught me ESP.> >"Yu tink a don't know what yu up to nuh?"> >>
>9. My Mother taught me HUMOR.> >"If yu don' eat food, breeze goin' blow yu 'way."> >>
>10. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT.> >"Come an' tek yu beatin' like man."> >>
>11. My Mother taught me about SEX.> >"Yu tink say yu drop from sky?"> >>
>12. My Mother taught me about GENETICS.> >"Yu jus' like yu faada."> >>
>13. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.> >"Yu tink mi come from "Back A Wall?"> >>
>14. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE.> >"When yu get to be as ol' as me, yu wi understan'."> >>
>15. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE.> >"One day wen yu have pickney, a hope dem treat yu same way."
> >> >1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.> >"Just wait till we get home."> >>
>2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.> >"You going get a ass'n when we get home!"> >
> >3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE.> >"What di backside yu thinkin'? Answer me when me> >talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"> >>
>4. My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.> >"If yu run cross de road an' cyar lick yu dung,> >a goin' kill yu wid lick."> >
> >5. My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION.> >"If yu no go a school, yu a go tun tief> >or walk an' pick up bottle."> >
> >6. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.> >"If yu tun over yu eye lid an fly pitch pan it,> >it a go stay so fi evva."> >>
>7. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD.> >"Is not one time monkey goin' wan' wife"> >>
>8. My Mother taught me ESP.> >"Yu tink a don't know what yu up to nuh?"> >>
>9. My Mother taught me HUMOR.> >"If yu don' eat food, breeze goin' blow yu 'way."> >>
>10. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT.> >"Come an' tek yu beatin' like man."> >>
>11. My Mother taught me about SEX.> >"Yu tink say yu drop from sky?"> >>
>12. My Mother taught me about GENETICS.> >"Yu jus' like yu faada."> >>
>13. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.> >"Yu tink mi come from "Back A Wall?"> >>
>14. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE.> >"When yu get to be as ol' as me, yu wi understan'."> >>
>15. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE.> >"One day wen yu have pickney, a hope dem treat yu same way."