JAMAICAN VOTERS
in the WONDERFUL U. S. of A.!!!

After watching the final debate jother night, it dawned on me that Obama could actually win this thing. If that happens, there will be a lot of JAMAICAN VOTERS who may not know how to conduct themselves!!

To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, a Top TEN list of behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days - have been put together :

10. NO need to kill a goat or set up an OBAMA Pan chicken Stand!!

9. NO renaming of Ackee and Saltfish plate to Obama and Biden!!

8. NO made up losing rhymes! (Rain a fall, breeze a blow, mek McCain baxide stay out-a-door) or peenie peenie pon Palin pokie

7. NO selling of Manish Water or Half Way Tree style k9 soup in cups with Obama's face on the side!!

6. NO acting like you knew Obama was going to win! (Mi nu tell uno say 'im a guh blouse an skert win… Mi nu did tell yuh tu rahtid man ..eeeh jubba mi nu tell yuh

5. NO Palin name calling!! (That Ol' Diby, Skettel eediat Eskimo freeze up skull no brain gal weh cyaan control har cayliss dawta weh out fi gi smaddy jackit fi di pickney weh shi deh raffle)

4. NO use of the word !@#%*!!!!mboclawt (Obama win to !!@~`*# ..ra$$clawt )

3. NO "SET-UP" fry fish an rum two bakkle a cream soda an dead pijin fi run duppy revivalist night for McCain/Palin supporters!

2. NO need to bake an Easter Bun on November the 5^th for Obama's winning!!! An fi di younger jinarayshan please no Tek weh yuhself , Nuh Lingah, dutty wine, hood tap ar any form of Skin out celebration, you however may beat yuh chess, do the gully creepa and make "to di world" gestures

AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE……

Mi a beg oonu - do….

1. NO spliff burning/Ganja smoking in crowd at the inaugural ceremony!!

(And NO duchie passing on the left hand side around the water cooler!!)

Respect Due!

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty Badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the Body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.

The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, ’Yup, his face is burned up pretty badly. You better roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba.'

The mortician thought this was rather strange.
So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.


Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'


The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'

Gomer said, 'Well, Bubba had two assholes.'


'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.



'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say,


’There’s Bubba with them two assholes.'

US resident to do time for drugs

Mario X , an events planner of Sometown, USA had the misfortune of being sent to prison for six months after pleading guilty to ganja possession charges in the Montego Bay Resident Magistrate's Court on Tuesday.

Attorney-at-law George Thomas who mitigated on Fortune's behalf, said his client was not trying to profit financially from the contraband but was taking it home for personal use. He also told the court that his client believes that Jamaican weed is of a much better quality than weed grown in other parts of the world.

Subject: Fw: ULTIMATE FEMALE JOKE

It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes. And there are unisex jokes.


Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hope that women will love it then pass it on and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.


A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00 only on one condition..."


Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."


The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20.00 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....






"Clean my house."

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price.Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.Upstairs the wife thinks (no dummy she), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.' She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.

Although her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, his wife stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he finally came to, he motioned for her to come closer. As she sat
on the bed beside him he said,

' Yu know yu' deh wid mi through all the bad times.

When mi went bankrupt and lost mi business, yu stood by mi side.

When mi get shot, yu deh by mi side.

When wi lost the house, yu was dere .

When mi car crash an mi bruk up yu was dere

When mi health started to fail, yu was dere, and when a start to get worse,
yu was dere...right by mi side...
Every time sumpn' bad happen to me yu is right dere....

Yu know something?....

Yu know sey it look like yu a crosses?'