A crusty old man walks into the local Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have
misunderstood you. What did you say?"


"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to
inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does
not have to listen to that foul language.


They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer,
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million
bucks in the damn lottery and ! ! ! I wan t to j oin th is damn church
to get rid of some of this damn mo ney. "


"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard
time?"

A young Jamaican yute, Errol, asks his step-dad for some help. He says, '

Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?'

His step-father looks up thoughtfully, and says, 'Mek mi show yuh. Go ask your mother if she

would sleep with Beres Hammond for one million dollars.
Next, ask your sister if she would sleep with Beres Hammond for one million dollars. Then go ask your brother

if him would sleep with Beres Hammond for one million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you find out.'

The yute is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his stepfather means.

He asks his mother, 'Mammy if someone gave you a million dollars would you sleep with Beres Hammond?'

His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, 'Don't tell yuh poopah, but yes, I would.'

Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her,'Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with

Beres Hammond?' His sister looks up and says, 'Cho! Him kinda old still but with the amount a clothes I could buy

definitely I would give him a grine!'

Then he goes to his brother's room and asks him, 'Eh yow, if someone gave you a million dollars,

would you sleep with Beres Hammond?' His brother thinks about it for a minute and says,

'Fyah bun fi dem ting deh but fi a million bucks, I suppose I would. Just one time though'.

Errol goes back to his stepfather and says, 'Poopah I believe that I figure it out.

Potentially, we are sitting on three million dollars, but in reality, we are living with two skettels and one battyman.'